Strength in the Unknown

A Wife Reflects on God’s Faithfulness

November was one of the most challenging months I had ever experienced. On November 13, 2021, I drove Titus, my husband, to Urgent Care to later find out that he was critically ill and needed to go to the Emergency Room immediately and safely. At the Urgent Care, the doctor found out that his platelets count was at two instead of an average range count of 140 to 450. In other words, if he were to get tackled or get in an accident, he would bleed to death. It was not until we arrived at the ER that we learned that he was experiencing Immune thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). ITP is defined as:

A blood disorder characterized by a decrease in the number of platelets in the blood. Platelets are cells in the blood that help stop bleeding. A decrease in platelets can cause easy bruising, bleeding gums, and internal bleeding. This disease is caused by an immune reaction against one’s own platelets.

Because Titus was critically low at a count of two, he was at risk of spontaneous bleeding. He could have started bleeding from his brain, nose, mouth, or insides which would have been life-threatening. So there I was, walking in the unknown, wondering if my husband would make it, wondering if I was ready to be a widow at 28, wondering if I could raise my son on my own. The thought of the unknown sucked the strength out of me. But the Lord God “is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). In my most significant time of need, God was very present as my help and my strength. His strength was poured out through the Scriptures, prayer, and community.

One of the greatest means of grace that God uses to strengthen us is through His Holy Word. As the Psalmist wrote, “My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” (Psalm 119:28). God’s word is alive and powerful. When our hearts and flesh fail us, He is our strength and our great portion forever (Psalm 73:26). Scripture calls us to seek the Lord and His strength (Psalm 105:4), and as we wait upon the Lord, he will renew our strength (Isaiah 40:28-31) to keep persevering to the end. It is the precious promises of God that sustain us and strengthen us through our trials. It is one thing to know His promises. It is another to experience the fulfillment of His promises and presence through our hardships. As it is written, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). Our God is faithful to provide the strength we need to face the unknowns of each day—for he is our rock and our refuge.  

Not only does the Lord strengthen us through His Holy Word, but also through prayer. Prayer, both individually and corporately, has been our lifeline through this ordeal. God strengthened us daily through the prayers of other believers, our friends and family, and the church. I thank my God that I can call upon Him anytime, anywhere, and for anything. This privilege is made possible only for the Christian. It is the life, death, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ that made way for the believer to be reconciled to God and to pray to God. It is because of Christ’s righteousness, not our own, that we can and are encouraged to come boldly to the throne of grace to receive mercy and grace in our hour of need (Hebrews 4:16-18). Our prayers are not good vibes but honest conversations with a living and powerful God! It is not the prayer that has any merit, but rather it is the Lord God Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth, who is rich in mercy, who has compassion in our sufferings, who bestows grace and strength. My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, run to the throne, know that you will be heard, for you are righteous in Christ and accepted by God in Christ.

Together with the Scriptures and prayer, the Lord’s grace of strengthening was poured through my community. My husband and I are incredibly thankful for all of our family, friends, church family, and strangers who have shown us mercy, generosity, and kindness during this trial. The Lord used them all to encourage us and support us. I cannot imagine where I would be without a strong community. I am reminded of the greatest commandments as stated by Christ in Mark 12:29-31:

Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

God did not create us to be alone, but to be in real and meaningful relationships: in a relationship with Him and with each other. Thus, we have the “let us” mandates in the New Testament. As believers in Christ, we are called to love, encourage, forgive, bear with, rejoice with, weep with, exhort with, confront and confess our sins with, and pray with each other. We do not walk and fight this fight of faith alone. We have our precious Lord Jesus Christ and our brothers and sisters in Christ.

It has been two months now and Titus continues to improve each day. His platelets are still in the normal range; Praise God! Although the path remains uncertain (whether his condition is chronic or temporary), we trust our Great Shepherd to lead us and strengthen us day by day.

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what struggle or trial you face today, whether it be a death of a loved one, addiction, a difficult marriage, sickness, financial hardship, or something else, seek the Lord. Seek His strength through the Scriptures, prayer, and the fellowship of other believers. God is our strength in the midst of the unknown. 

%d bloggers like this: